OMG! WTF? BBQ?
by Nemishiwa
Summary: The characters of Squenix have a barbacue? That's awkward... Edit: On my list of characters I forgot to write that Paine is from FFX-2 and Vexen is from Kingdom Hearts. Thanks for telling me, gstol1!


Alrighty then. Okay, this is an idea I had about a Square Enix barbecue. I'm using the characters from the games that I know so I appoligize if I didn't use a character you really like. I also appoligize if you don't know the characters I'm using. If that's the case look them up. I hope you like! ^^

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything and some quotes were taken from Dane Cook because he's funny and they fit.**

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It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. The weather was perfect for a barbecue, which is exactly what the characters of Square Enix were doing. Everyone from their games were there enjoying the food and fun. People were talking, laughing, snapping, arguing, and overall having fun. Axel was cooking hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill. He was wearing his favorite 'kiss the cook' apron.

"These burgers stink." commented Cloud.

"You think yours are better?" Axel snapped.

"Duh!"

Cloud grabbed Axel's cooking utensils and began grilling. Tidus and Shuyin had discovered...well...each other. They began running around yelling, "Clone, clone!" Tidus shoved Maester Seymour into the grill and his hair lit on fire. Seymour, instead of going to Demyx like he should of, ran around screaming.

"I'd say it was an accident, but then I'd be lying."

Sora walked over to the center of the area.  
"Hey, Cid! Mind fixing our gummi ship? It got destroyed on the way here." called the keybearer.

"Which one?" asked all the Cids in unison. Sora looked around, his head spinning. He swayed and fainted.

"What are those old men doing? Shouldn't they be dead?" whispered Vaan to Penelo. He was indicating the two old men playing chess.

"Your move, Holy Man." Vincent said.

And with a great party comes great party crashers. Marluxia was acting as security at the moment and getting rid of role players. Some were trying to sneak in at the moment and Marluxia had disbanded them with his –girly- scythe. Lulu and Wakka had brought baby Vidina to the cook-out. This was a mistake for Yuffie and Rikku were making him claustrophobic. They obnoxiously crowed around the baby cooing.

"Aw, who's a cute little baby?" Yuffie practically purred.

"You are! You are!" Rikku answered nuzzling the little red head.

"Can you believe it? Even a chocobo saves the world! That's just...wow." Tifa told Barret.

"Is the chief (head of Square Enix) bonkers?"

Meanwhile, Sephiroth and Seymour were chatting. Seymour had summoned ((punn intended)) enough brain cells to find Demyx to put his hair out.

"So who killed you?" Sephirath asked.

"I was killed by my ex-bride, a dead monk, an Al Bhed, a religious stupid, a ronso, a mage, and a dream."

"And I thought I was pathetic."

Genesis was performing a concert on a small stage. Neku had actually taken his headphones off to hear.

"Wow, look at all these players! Bonus points!" Uzuki giggled.

"I wouldn't if I were you, Uzuki. First of all, they're not players. Secondly, they'd kill you in a zetta second, as Minamoto would put it." Kariya said destroying Uzuki's happy moment which she honestly needed. After the barbecue, Cloud, Zack, and Snow were getting ready to race their motorcycles (or in Snow's case, Shiva).

"What a degrading use of aeons." Fayth pouted. Paine looked at him funny.

"Like you guys have anything better to do." Fayth shrugged.

"You have a point."

While the motorcycle race was starting, an airship race was also about to begin. Cid ((VII)) vs. Cid ((X)) vs. Brother.

"Ayd uin ticd, Vedran!" Brother yelled in a 'FOR SPARTA!' way.

"This should be interesting." Axel, Issaru, and Reno said at once then looked at one another. "Okay..."

Squall and Yuna ran over to the earthbound starting line.  
"Ready?" They asked in unison. Then they shot their guns (or gun blade). "Go!" When Squall and Yuna had walked over to the ground starting line, Xigbar and Lightning used their mad gravity defying skills and flew up in the air.

"Ready?" Xigbar began.

"Go." Lightning said as they shot their firearms in the air. Off the vehicles went, their engines roaring loud. This angered little Vidina so he began crying. Shiki ran over to the redhead baby.

"It's okay, um...here." she handed Mr. Mew to Vidina and the bawling stopped. Lulu thanked Shiki for lending a hand.

There was a giant crash from the concert area.  
"Nobody panic!" Yuri announced. "Genesis just fell off the stage." Everyone sighed in relief.

"I am okay!" Genesis proclaimed.

"Phew." Rhyme sighed. "That looked like it would've hurt."

"Tee, hee. Geny fall downy go boom!" Meeth giggled.

"Oi Vincent."Cait Sith called. "Can ye...wait a moment! Ye ain't Vincent!"

"God Cait Sith! I don't look like that, okay. My hair does not look like a duck's butt." Vincent snapped running over to Cait Sith and the Vincent look-a-like. Noctis glared at Vincent's crude comment, his eyes flashing red.

"The airships are back!" Chilinka shouted. Everyone directed their gaze skyward. The ships zoomed to the finish line, neck-in-neck.

"And the winner is..." began Xigbar.

"Brother and the Celsius." Lightning finished.

"Eh ouin vylac!" Brother cheered.

"What is he saying?" Xigbar questioned Lightning. She shrugged.

"I don't speak stupid."  
Rikku, who heard this comment, shouted her disapproval.  
"Racist!"

Hojo and Vexen were having a chat near Squall and Yuna when Zack zoomed around the corner. He was gaining fast and Hojo was in his way.

"You're about to be struck by a vehicle!" Riku shouted a bit too late. Zack hit Hojo and he went flying. Zack stopped.

"Oh, darn. Why does that always happen?"

"Uh...Zack wins?" Squall said then turned to Yuna. "Should we penalize him?" Yuffie ran over to Zack and gave him at least one million gil.

"Thank you!"

"Guess not, Zack wins!" Yuna assessed. Red XIII went over to the unconscious 'victim.' He sniffed it and opened his mouth wide. Cloud pulled up next to Zack.

"Red, no. You really don't want that."  
Snow pulled up next to the other two. He looked at Zack's stunned face.

"You're screwed fits but 'you're sued' is more accurate."

Joshua analyzed the crowd.  
"Hmm...half the people here are dead. I think they would make an interesting Game..." Beat whacked Joshua over the head with his skateboard. Joshua fell over with an 'oof'!

"Don't even." Beat said. Neku walked over to them.

"Stick with Shibuya, you'll live longer."

Meanwhile, the Gullwings had joined Genesis onstage in their Songstress dresspheres. Shinra was doing some smarticle techy stuff to play with the screen.  
"That is one smart kid." Tifa commented.

Everyone continued playing games with one another, laughing, cheering, and being merry.  
"It's time for our lovely barbecue to end. Until our next one, I bid you a fond farewell." Xemnas announced. And it was done, for now at least. It was fun and would surely happen again.

* * *

Sorry if it's crap. The ending is pretty bad and you can tell I ran out of ideas. R&R please! Constructive critisizm is appreciated!

FYI or if you care:

Translation:  
Ayd uin ticd, Vedran!=Eat our dust, Father!  
Eh ouin vylac!=In your faces!

Characters and their games:  
Sora, Riku, Xemnas, Xigbar, Marluxia=Kingdom Hearts (Please tell me you know this.)  
Cloud, Tifa, Genesis, Barret, Cid, Red XIII, Yuffie, Zack, Sephorath, Hojo, Vincent, Cait Sith=Final Fantasy 7  
Squall=Final Fantasy 8  
Yuna, Rikku, Brother, Shinra, Shuyin, Tidus, Seymour, Lulu, Wakka, Vidina, Cid=Final Fantasy 10  
Reference to chocobo saving the world=Chocobo Tales  
Vaan, Penelo=Final Fantasy 12  
Lightning, Snow=Final Fantasy 13  
Noctis=Final Fantasy 13 Verses  
Meeth, Yuri, Chilinka=Final Fantasy (Crystle Chronicles) Ring of Fates  
Neku, Shiki, Beat, Rhyme, Uzuki, Kariya, Joshua=The World Ends With You  
Let me know if I missed anyone


End file.
